Joe Louis provides arch support
“This is very handsome, yes?”
I had just left the Forbidden City and was taking a chilly break to watch Chinese servicemen perform marches and salutes in a blocked off courtyard.
“Yes.”
I had spent all day ignoring people asking me where I’m from, offering me guide services, and trying to sell me cheaply made furry hats. I was tired of resisting.
“We visited Forbidden City. How about you.”
They persisted. They were two Asian women, not old, but not quite youthful either. This reeked of scam. The prospect intrigued me. I’ll bite.
“Yes. I’m going to Tiananmen Square now.”
“We are too. We can walk together and you can help our English.”
How convenient. We walked along the frozen palace moat as we taught each other phrases in our native languages.
“It is very cold. Let’s stop for some warm tea.”
How convenient. These scammers are legendary. People on the street befriend you and then rip you off. Guidebooks, websites, parents all warn travelers to stay away. But I didn’t mind a couple of friends on a cold winter night. They were social prostitutes and I was a willing john.
We stopped in a small tea house and got a private room, similar to a karaoke bar. I made sure to ask the price of each thing, this would be important later during the reveal phase of the scam. For an hour and a half we drank tea, ate snacks, and toasted Jack Daniels (real American drink). I had a great time. We joked around in pidgin English. I told them I had many children with girlfriends in many countries (but not Thailand because the ladyboys had trouble getting pregnant). They told me about Taiwanese pop singers and Buddhist traditions.
“Do you know why my stomach hurts so hard?”
“Because Chinese food is terrible?”
“Nooo because I laugh so hard.”
How much would you pay for an ego boost? Well I found out for myself.
The bill came out. Over $100.
One girl slid it over to me.
“In China, when man invites women to tea, he pays the bill.”
How convenient.
“Well it’s a shame YOU invited ME. I’m having a great time, but I can’t pay for all of you.”
“That’s the tradition in China.”
“I’m not very traditional.”
“OK OK let’s split the bill. You just pay half.”
“Sorry I’m just backpacking. There’s no way I’m treating random strangers to overpriced food with hidden fees.”
I looked at the bill and did some quick addition.
“I’ll pay $20 I think that’s fair. It’s my most expensive meal yet.”
The waitress took my money. One of the girls gave a credit card. I’m sure she didn’t pay the remainder.
When we left the tea house we stopped by the toilets. Afterwards, the two girls suddenly had to leave. They had to pick something up at the market and were no longer headed towards Tiannamen Square.
How convenient.
Beijing, China
It’s not rocket science
When it seems to convenient, it likely is. It isn’t too difficult to recognize when people are trying to take advantage of you. Sadly more often than not, that is the case.
They’re called strangers for a reason
Don’t trust anyone who talks to you on the street. There are maybe 1% of people genuinely interested in talking to you, but likely they see your skin tone or bulging bag and see dollar signs.
Just say no
Unless you get involved in a gambling ring with the mafia, you usually aren’t obliged to pay. Just because someone asks for money, doesn’t mean you should give it to them.
